I love cribbing

               Today began as a very confusing day. I woke up at the same time as usual and as soon as my head left the pillow, my body filled with dread. I was supposed to go out today and meet a friend and I was not looking forward to it.

“Meet a friend? That sounds like fun!” you state, questioningly.

Yes meeting friends is really fun unless you have a 4 month gap in between meeting them. Not only that though, imagine being fat and then you succumb to some more cookies, (by more I mean a few hundred) and you turn into a not so sexy godzilla. So there I am looking in the mirror pulling at my fat, and a few hours go by, because hell those rolls are really fun. Then you realize that you’re slowly inching toward the destined meeting time and you begin to accept your greasy fate. Rummaging through your clothes doesn’t help either because you try them on and you look like a sausage. Sausages are tasty which I am for sure, but c’mon this is a sad story. Or is it?

           Well we still haven’t met yet so it could turn out to be a good story with a happy ending. For now though as I write it all down I have begun feeling more confident. I’m not Banned from feeling these feelings but I don’t like being scared and hesitant about doing normal things. Also I look stunning, so that’s there. The darkness is my friend. I shall now embark on my interesting journey. Wish me luck suckas!