My Feelings About The COVID-19 Pandemic

“From 12a.m tonight, the country will be in a complete lockdown for 21 days. Stepping out of your house will be criminalized.”

I was now faced with a COVID-19 lockdown and despite my rational brain recalling that I should not panic, you know what I did? I panicked. What are we going to do? Where will we get food from? When are we allowed to leave the house? How are we going to manage?

All of these thoughts were scrambling through my head and I was a faulty radio picking up all the signals. I could recall most coronavirus events about the lockdown in other countries. I kept thinking about how they handled it, about the fights over groceries, about people not being able to pay bills. I was scared and I needed to do something FAST.

On television I could see the speech continuing and he was sharing a lot of coronavirus information, but I didn’t end up watching the entire thing. It was only later that I actually felt calm enough to think over the series of events.

I thought about the coronavirus itself. How it took about 2 weeks to see symptoms manifest and we were on a 3 week lockdown. It was the first time I agreed with any thing he put forth. But what about the timing, he annouced the lockdown just hours before and that too at night.

I could feel my own sense of fear and that of others who would suffer by not having enough food or supplies. To spend three weeks at home is a luxury for most, for someone like me at least. It still means work, and leisure, and good family time. Whereas for many others it means abusive families, no daily wages, shortage of food and essential supplies.

From the day it was annouced till today I have been feeling a lot of things. I have felt scared and uncertain about the future. I feel angry that the government is not helping doctors and nurses with funds, or daily wage workers with their essential needs. I feel sad that I am not doing enough to help people in this time. I also feel sad for the small things in my life that I’ve lost out on during this time.

Whatever it may be I know that we must do our best against the coronavirus disease. We have to observe the lockdown properly and not go out to just hang out with our friends. We must stay in now so that once this crisis is averted we can easily go out later.

It still remains to be seen what life is like after these 21 days.

Update 1

14 days have passed since the COVID-19 lockdown began. Since then my terror has increased. I watch the news and read articles about people in the country who are attending religious services, holding meets, having gatherings despite the lockdown. I hear of people who are going out to meet their friends just because they are bored. I read about people who unintentionally spread the coronavirus to their family members, and then to many more community people. I read and read, and I consume the news daily.

My terror feels like a freshly filled ballon that is reaching its bursting point. I want to say STOP and I want to stay where I am right now mentally, yet I keep pushing. As my fear increases about getting sick, or my friends and family getting sick, there is more to it.

I feel guilty for thinking of buying too many supplies. I feel guilty for not yet donating money to small charities for daily wage workers. I feel useless for not posting more informative coronavirus content. I feel low due to the lack of motivation that I’ve suddenly experienced. I feel worried thinking of my job, studies, and future plans. Oh, and the economy HA!

This update isn’t meant to spread fear, it’s more so my little spot to help me understand my feelings. I know that I have got things going really well for me but sometimes these thoughts are way too intrusive. Anyway, see you soon.

Update 2

The 21-day lockdown came to an end but just before it ended, he extended it for 19 more days. I wasn’t surprised at all. In fact I want it to be extended for longer. I see that the measures aren’t working so well and out numbers are just increasing day by day. It’s frightening and I just don’t see the end in sight yet. I’m also scared for the migrant labourers because the extension is really tough on them first and foremost.

I hope they are getting help and safety in this time. Another extension would be terrifying for them. We would be safe in our houses but I don’t think they have shelter. Will write another update in some time I guess. See ya around.

Update 3

The lockdown has been extended for the 3rd time. Another two weeks before us. Now the thing is we’re so used it to by now that we’re hardly blinking at another lockdown. What about the migrants you say? They’re being sent home by buses from each state. Yay! But wait a minute they are also being charged for going home which doesn’t make sense because a big hullabaloo was made about a certain “fund” to be used for such a time. SO WHERE IS THE FUND’S MONEY GOING IF NOT FOR THIS?

To be honest this is quite crappy but shows how our government works. Oops shouldn’t criticize cause I may be arrested under a certain draconian law that is apparently for terrorists but has been used to arrest innocent citizens. As you can see I’m annoyed, not because of the lockdown but rather just the way this place functions. Let’s see how long the next lockdown goes on for. Right now we’re on day 1 of the third lockdown. Oh well, see ya.

Update 4

Today is day 1 of the FOURTH lockdown. To be honest, as usual, we all knew it was coming. But right now a little unrest can be seen with many not liking the increased lockdown. It’s understandable from the peoples’ side about the government managemnet of this lockdown, but also the ones whining now are a lot of the priveleged class. I see the regular morning and evening walkers being the ones who try to pretend like eveything is alright and we can just open up the country ASAP.

I wish they got arrested honestly because on the other end are people STILL walking home with no food or money and struggling. Imagine your privelege that you deny lockdown rules and go for a regular walk or stroll whereas some people have no choice but to walk home because they have nothing.

So far I am totally alright with the new lockdown but I just cannot imagine how much more it will extend. I do miss my friends a lot but I know that a time will come when we all will be able to meet safely. Anyway you might see me next time speaking about lockdown 5?

Update 5

We are currently starting to reopen things. Seems like a bad idea and you know what it probably is, but, we’re doing it anyway.

I can’t begin to tell you what all shops and places have started to open. It just feels like a lot. Plus, there are people roaming freely cause they are now allowed to do so. It’s scary to think about it cause what if there is a second wave that hits?

I also don’t want there to be a lockdown but I know for many people this

Picture Credits: Unsplash

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