I have so many things that I can think of that I would love to tell my younger self about. So many tips for young me that might have made things easier or just less awkward. So let’s dive right in, here are some things I would say to my younger self if I ever got the chance:
1. Make sure you surround yourself with things and people who are informative, positive, creative, and have the right values. This is the most important thing I’ve ever witnessed! The more you surround yourself with things and people that are in line with your values, the better it is for you. I did this later on in my life but I’m so glad I made the effort.
2. A Tip for your younger self could be to walk more. Like just go outside and walk around, observe things, and get some fresh air. I’m always working on my computer or phone and I often don’t walk during my day. I would love to tell young me to get out for a while.
3. Do things alone! Ahhhhh this is a wonderful one. I really want to eat at a restaurant alone or go for a movie on my own. I have attended a pride march alone and travelled alone a lot. I would say that it’s quite a fun experience and something everyone should do. The thing is I don’t get bored on my own, I actually feel a bit anxious. So being alone is tough but its worth the fear. Young me would definitely have benefitted from doing things alone at a much earlier stage.
4. Just because they’re offering advice for free does not mean that you should take it. This goes for this blog post as well! Listening to other peoples advice and opinions really hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I tend to follow my own path and I like doing what feels right to me. I would tell young me to follow the path that seems right, but also take responsibility for your actions. Which brings me to the next one!
5. Make sure you always know that YOU are in charge. I think the best piece of advice to give someone is to tell them that they are in control of their life. Everything that goes right and wrong is in their hands. They may not be able to control the world but they can control their feelings about it and the resulting actions.
6. Some funny advice to my younger self would be to pet one dog a day. If I made that my goal I’d be 50% less stressed.
7. I would tell a lot of youth to use the site Futureme.org to write letters to your future self. Right now I use it when I’m going through something big and I delve into those feelings for future me. It helps a lot because it makes me feel less stressed. And in the future it gives me some perspective.
8. Set boundaries with your close friends and family and acquaintances. One of the biggest problems about me is that I love being in the role of a listener. This has meant that I’m always that friend who will hear you out. But on the downside for me is that some friends take advantage of that. They get this free pass to talk and often things get too one-sided for a friendship to function. So its best to set boundaries from early on. Boundaries as to how much you will give of yourself to this person. That, I feel is the healthiest way to be.
9. Cry whenever you feel like doing it. Yes, cry! It’s one of the best ways to feel what you’re feeling and experience your emotions truly. After you cry then maybe cry again and then get moving!
10. Don’t let someone talk about your body in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Whether its about body hair, size, shape, colour, texture. Understand that anyone who says these things about you is not worth the time of day. Anyone who speaks of a physical characterisitic of you when meeting you after a long gap, is someone with a personality the size of a pea. Get better people, even if you have to forage for them.
11. You need to realize that there are people who respect and fight for others rights, and there are people who disrespect others and deny their rights. One side is right and one side is wrong. But unfortunately people are shades of grey and someone on the wrong side may seem too human for you to set a boundary. Make sure you realize where you stand and never lose track of what you have to do.
12. Try your best to work in a place that you can rest in. A place where you taking a breather is not frowned upon. A place where your mental and physical health aren’t pushed aside for later. It’s tough but try your best for that job!
13. Learn more about someone before you speak about love. Understand that love is not just a feeling but its an experience that comes after trust, knowledge, and communication. Only with a strong base can someone truly know they are in love. Otherwise you may say you love the person without really knowing the person. Get it?
14. Write, read, sing, dance, paint, draw. Do the things that make you feel like time is water. Make things, create art, feel yourself being expressed. Do not wait for holidays to do these things, because moments like that are far too few.
15. Plan your day as best you can and make sure that you always rest. There was a time that I planned 16 hour study days because I felt like I could manage that. I obviously could not and it turned me into a mess. Now I know that I can manage 4 hours in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. I get so much more done without ending up like a dishevelled carrot.
16. If I tell you not to worry, you will worry more about how much you are worrying.
17. Love advice to my younger self would be to never listen to guys who compliment and insult you. I don’t know if you’ve ever come across the species of DuoWocky. They’re a serpentine species that gives you a hint of a compliment followed by an insult. Let’s say: You look great in that dress for a girl your size. Before you know it you’ve been hit with something that burns a bit and you feel dazed. The DuoWocky is a notorious creature, stay far from it. You’ll see it approaching with its bag full of red flags.
18. Surround yourself with women. This is one of the best things I have ever experienced in my life. The patriarchy is so great at teaching women to stay away from other women. That all women are out to get me and bitching about me behind my back. That all women are complicated, whining, snivelling, weak creatures. Ho boy! Women are so strong and beautiful and I honestly marvel at all the things I have learnt being around so many women. I don’t think I have this much admiration for the rest of the homosapiens as I do for women. If you’re a woman reading this and scoffing at this piece of advice, well, maybe you’re past me.
19. Get involved with volunteer work. Join some clubs. Do some things with some people (not shady things). Basically find groups and learn new things. Be the best version of you and meet people who have similar energy.
20. Be sure to listen more, rather than giving advice. (Okay okay I just broke my own rule with this post eh) But yeah listening to someone and really being present as they speak is one of the best things you can do for a person.
What advice would you give to your younger self?