The 4 stages of a relationship: from the mouth of a pseudo-expert.

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             Being with someone is supposed to be wonderful, exciting and interesting. At least that’s what everyone hopes for it to be. We spend lots of time at the beginning wondering, 1) Where is it going? 2)How to keep it exciting always? 3)Are they my soul-mate or better half? Sometimes we go so overboard trying to keep up appearances that we forget the real concept of dating, therefore I’m here to remind you of how (I think) it goes.


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1)The extremely cute but also mysterious intellectual phase:

Yes, exactly what I said. Say you’ve found a nice piece of meat, er, person. They seem to be psychologically sound and aren’t a class-three-danger to you so you decide to begin ‘dating’. You think that you’re being yourself. You, who is supposedly always cute, charming, a bit odd but not the kooky-odd, the interesting kind. Yep, you display your multi-coloured feathers and hope that all that prancing-around will get you a nice partner. This stage tends to pass after 1-3 months. It took me around 10 days to begin doodling his name everywhere and make creepy-drawings of us, so if you last longer than 10 days then kudos to you.


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2) The wow, what was that all about! stage:

             You’re still in a nice bubble right now. Happy and, well, let’s hope in-love; you decide to begin letting bits of information about yourself fall onto the platter of your partner. It could be fun tidbits, vacation stories, you ex-drama, traumatic family memories, etc. Now this stage is crucial because you’re letting your past memories come to the forefront. You’re allowing your new partner to understand what makes you, you! At this stage you must keep an eye-out for the gazelles; they are the easily scared off partners who cannot handle being committed so if you stay vigilant you can either shoot-them and mount them on your wall (metaphorically speaking, I guess), or you can set-them free and let them run-around in the wild.


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3) The couch-potato and have-you seen-my-uncombed-hair-yet stage:

Lovely stage to be in, this is the sort-of-comfortable area that you have begun traversing with your partner. Luckily for you, they stayed long enough for you guys to reach this stage; for some couples though, there is just a straight jump-into this stage which is either very good for them or they’re 70 year-olds. The good part of reaching this point is that you see the not-so-attractive aspect of the other person. Or maybe you find it attractive and love eating day-old pizza off someone’s belly, is that just me? Anyway the bad part of this stage is, um, I couldn’t find a bad aspect for this because I find that being comfortable around your ‘bae’ (yes I used that word) is really wholesome.


4) I’m really tired of writing all this so let’s just skip to the end and say that this is the stage of death.

             Yep, you live, you love, you die. Congrats you had a good life!

That’s all folks.



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4 thoughts on “The 4 stages of a relationship: from the mouth of a pseudo-expert.

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