She woke up, covered in sweat, her heart racing and her breath ragged. She had woken up at least 5 times that night. What was she going to do? She had made a terrible mistake by leaving her stable relationship and now, although she finally gave up on her secret trysts, it was time for her to realize what her mistake had cost her. Their relationship had been wrecked by the mistrust, that she had caused by her actions.
She wrung her hands in despair, at the way she let her impulses control her. Maybe she’d finally get what she deserved.
Great way to respond to the post. Be just as creative as you want, and don’t worry about anyone else. Writers need to write what they know, what they see, what they experience. Be real.
We always like to believe that the grass is greener on the other side and many times we jump before looking, it brings us a great feeling of sadness. Short and Sweet fiction. It passes the message across. Thanks for sharing
the story reads slow and subdued to me thou, wrenched with pain. The anguish she feels is missing . Lovely word choice, but leave some words implied. Thought from a dream are rapid and fragmented.
love the work and thank you for reading and commenting on my post.
Could it be, Maybe https://iwillfightsite.wordpress.com/2016/08/10/could-it-be-maybe/
Maybe she is already getting exactly what she deserves. Perhaps the emotions and worry she is going through and realizing what she had lost is what she deserves. Sometimes what a person puts him or herself through in the aftermath of something like this is more of a punishment or worse than what anyone else can do or say.
Great post.
Thank you so much! Hopefully one day I will be able to learn from your short story writing as well and improve! Thanks for taking the time to read my work. 🙂
You are quite the writer! I love how you captured so much thought and emotion in so few words. This is a great start to a novel. I’m really digging your work.
This is good, I like how you keep some details back making the reader question what she did. I reckon she just wasn’t that into the relationship in the first place and that’s why she behaved in a way she isn’t proud 🙂
You’re not alone,
sadly i’ve made the same mistakes,
not in a relationship, but with friendship!
chris
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post! It’s amazing the emotion that is conveyed even in such a short snippet!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much for taking the time to read it. 😃
LikeLike
Ah, but what is it that she deserves?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Good question!
Time to think of an answer. 😛
LikeLike
Very crisp and it just hit the target….she should and she will get what she deserves finally…acc. to me😁☺️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it all depends on where life takes her.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great way to respond to the post. Be just as creative as you want, and don’t worry about anyone else. Writers need to write what they know, what they see, what they experience. Be real.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, very true! Thanks so much for reading it. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sounds like the back cover of a book I now wish I could read…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe someday that might be a reality!
Haha thanks so much for reading my post. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Full of emotion and sadly too true! Very thought provoking. Grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ah, this is really sad especially when the account is taken from her perspective. And you wrote it beautifully too! Well done! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much! 😃
LikeLike
We always like to believe that the grass is greener on the other side and many times we jump before looking, it brings us a great feeling of sadness. Short and Sweet fiction. It passes the message across. Thanks for sharing
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks a ton for commenting. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
the story reads slow and subdued to me thou, wrenched with pain. The anguish she feels is missing . Lovely word choice, but leave some words implied. Thought from a dream are rapid and fragmented.
love the work and thank you for reading and commenting on my post.
Could it be, Maybe
https://iwillfightsite.wordpress.com/2016/08/10/could-it-be-maybe/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. 😃 I’m going to get down to checking out a few of your other posts as well. 🙂
LikeLike
Maybe she is already getting exactly what she deserves. Perhaps the emotions and worry she is going through and realizing what she had lost is what she deserves. Sometimes what a person puts him or herself through in the aftermath of something like this is more of a punishment or worse than what anyone else can do or say.
Great post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well said!
Thanks for reading this. 🙂
LikeLike
Oh! This one is sooooo.. touching!!! Beautifully written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really appreciate your comments, thanks a ton. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can relate to it.. 🙂
LikeLike
Love the way your writing connects with emotions.. Great post good job! 👍🏻
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for reading it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aah… Sad.. Your writing is real good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much! Hopefully one day I will be able to learn from your short story writing as well and improve! Thanks for taking the time to read my work. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the compliment 🙂 It really made my day that someone likes my writing. We all will learn and grow together.. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very touching one..and yes made me realize few things before anything bad would happen…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you liked it! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is very moving… Leaves you wondering. I like that! Beautifully conveyed 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is such a short post yet within this small post there is so much emotion, feeling and food for thought. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for reading it and for commenting as well. 🙂
LikeLike
You are quite the writer! I love how you captured so much thought and emotion in so few words. This is a great start to a novel. I’m really digging your work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so very much! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a great post and I love how it speaks to everyone, at least me.
But mistakes in a weird way paves way for us
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful post. I love how you express it tremendously well through your words. Love it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much for this comment. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
Temptations are hard to resist. A moment is enough to shatter all that we ever built. But humans do make mistakes and remorse is all that is left.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes I agree.
LikeLike
This is good, I like how you keep some details back making the reader question what she did. I reckon she just wasn’t that into the relationship in the first place and that’s why she behaved in a way she isn’t proud 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes probably. I am very glad that you liked the story. Thanks for reading. 😃
LikeLike
The remorse may have arrived late but atleast she knows her mistake ,few people doesn even bother 😦
LikeLike
Very true!
LikeLike
Some mistakes cost a lot but not making them costs much more.
LikeLike
This is a really good point! I’m glad that someone finally said it. 💗
LikeLiked by 1 person
And that’s okay isn’t it? Getting what one deserves?
LikeLike